I Love You, Now What? 💖

OK. Thanks 😁 But now what?

There are universal assumptions after the L word –

⚛Sex 🙄
⚛Move in together 👫
⚛Get married 🎩
⚛Post it on Facebook 🤪
⚛Other… 😂

When I told David I loved him I knew I was taking a risk. I valued our friendship of 6 months. It could be awkward if he didn’t feel the same. Thankfully, he loved me back 💏 Yay 😁

The next stage of our relationship was spontaneous. My landlord announced that David couldn’t visit me in the flat above them in Southampton. I stomped upstairs, told David I’d had enough & was going to move to Gloucestershire.

As a result of my outburst, his next words, “I’ll come with you if you like” set forth our 18-year path. 6 weeks later we moved to the Cotswolds.

We hadn’t discussed who was going to pay for what or how we wanted our relationship to develop 🤔

It was strange yet beautiful & of course, it worked out perfectly. We were a weird, unique & intuitive couple. We just knew … 💏

For many people, our route could have been a nightmare. Love floods your body with endorphins. The brain is blind to reality because of the chemicals flooding your body. So, your decision-making process can become unreliable.

A big part of why our relationship worked is because we started as friends. When you begin a sexual relationship those darned endorphins give you a fluffy brain. They cover up all the things you REALLY need to know about the other person. but are blind to because of all the warm, fuzzy, feel-good, feelings.

I know it’s not romantic to say to your love partner “Thanks. What does that actually mean to you? What do you see happening next then?” but it could save you years of heartache.

David was the first relationship where I wasn’t influenced by the guy’s feelings about me. My other long-term relationships wouldn’t have made it past friendship. There were no compatibilities to sustain longevity. But, of course, as a young woman, I had no idea about how important this is.

In the euphoria of love, take a step back, slow it down, wait before you get physical. In the end, you will be grateful you waited.

You can reach me by email
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Jan is a direct response copywriter, case study writer and SEO content writer