Mindset

Choose a life design and your life stops being something that happens to you. Though goodness knows it can seem like our lives are out of control sometimes, it’s more a case of becoming aware of how much we can influence our experiences.

If you’re anything like me, I am not short of ideas. Sometimes, my head buzzes with flashes of brilliance. However, implementing those ideas is a different story. I am neurodivergent, so creating structure can be problematic for me.

I’m learning to prioritise my ideas based on what will “move the needle.” In other words, I need to stop chasing shiny objects that are a waste of time and instead focus on doing the tasks that enable me to make progress, particularly in my goal to become financially free.

These four steps are how I better manage my mind to achieve the things I need and want to do to better design my life. You can choose a life design that aligns perfectly with your deepest desires.

1.   Identify Your Options

Jot down all the potential options you have. You might start by creating a mind map where you write all the ideas on paper in no particular order. After that, pull out the ones that are genuine opportunities and create a priority list.

This exercise stops you from reacting to external influences and steers you towards becoming proactive. It enables you to choose how you spend your time.

There is no shortage of opportunities, but we can get trapped in “decision overwhelm” and end up doing nothing or chasing the wrong thing.

2.   Narrow Down Your Options

If the brain feels overwhelmed, it naturally distracts you from those uncomfortable feelings. You find yourself switching on Netflix, eating a bucket of chocolate or doing something you find easy and enjoyable.

What I have learned is that I avoid doing the tough things. The problem with that is those tricky tasks often take me closer to my goal. For instance, I procrastinated on a task for several months because I knew there were technical aspects to overcome. I was experiencing brain fog and kept putting it off for fear of making a mistake.

What helped me overcome this challenge was to break down the entire task into bite-sized chunks. I accepted it was OK to do one small thing daily because it eventually got me to complete the task. Yay!

We are all different. Writing a list of pros and cons might work for you, or brainstorming with a friend might help.

3.   Making A Choice

The  most powerful question to determine how to choose from multiple options is to ask, “What do I want?”

Sit quietly, close your eyes and ask this question until you are 100% clear on your objective, dream or goal. Listen to your heart or your gut, but be aware that your brain can talk you out of taking “big” steps because it wants to keep you safe. So what you think is a gut feeling is your brain being a scaredy cat.

After determining what you want, the next question is, “Why do I want it?” This aspect is super important because what we think we want is often not our dream. It can be social conditioning, peer pressure, FOMO or something else.

For example, my dream of financial freedom is underpinned by a deep desire to be free. I’ve felt like that forever. I want to have time to do hobbies, buy a house (free me from rent) and enjoy meandering through my days without having to report to anyone else. I also want to spend less time on my laptop.

However, underpinning all of our dreams is a desire to be happy. We all want to be happy. We believe achieving “something” we prioritise will give us that.

4.   Let Go and Move On

After you have made a decision, let it go. Don’t worry whether you have done the right thing. Stand by your choice. If it falls apart, it wasn’t meant for you, and you know what not to do next time. You are unique. What works for one person isn’t right for another.

There are always other opportunities. We are in the flow of abundance. Let go of regret. Shrug your shoulders and move on. Listen to your intuition, your soul and your feelings. Sometimes, when something I wanted doesn’t work out, I feel relieved. Then, something much better comes along. Learn to trust yourself and detach from outcomes.

The more you can let go and not attach meaning to attaining what you think you want, the happier you will be. You will learn to become adaptable, flexing into life like a wise guru.

Creating a life design isn’t complicated. It’s more about figuring out what matters to you and how you want to live. Sadly, many people go their entire lives swept along by external influences and only realise what happened when it’s too late to shape their lives the way they (actually) want it to be.

I hope this article has helped you choose a life design.

Is the digital world messing our connection to a deeper reality? Yes, I genuinely believe it is.

Older generations connected to the earth by doing physical work. Time spent out in nature, even when it’s hard graft, reaches something deep within us that is impossible to replicate with a laptop.

I’ve been feeling out of sorts for a while, and after a conversation with a friend, I suddenly realised how long my life has revolved around my laptop. As a writer of three years, I cannot do my work without access to technology.

My friend said her ideal world would be days spent rewilding and doing physical work out in the fields. Her insight evoked a guttural reaction. I had to down tools, put the dogs’ collars on, and go for a long walk.

We both used to have horses and spent a lot of time outside. I lost my 36-year-old, Jack, in 2017 after 29 years together, but I decided that was it. Horses are hard work and expensive, but I missed that time when my head was clear of everything except being with my horse.

I’ve long been baffled at our acceptance of working a 40-hour week. Why do we accept this slavery other than to “earn” a living? We weren’t born to grind ourselves into a pulp with only a few measly days to actually “enjoy” time off.

Last year, I found myself in a toxic work environment. Even though I’m a freelance writer, the a-hole manager insisted on my reporting what I planned to do each day and how long it would take. At the close of the day, I then had to report what I’d done and how long it took.

WTAF!!!!!!!

What Happened Next?

Honestly, this micromanagement sucked the life out of me. My clients had always trusted my work, and my writing was a tangible result. I published two articles a week, so there was no need to question what I did or didn’t do. My results were tangible, but that didn’t matter to this *ickhead.

I worked 2.5 days a week. It’s hard to imagine putting up with this treatment for 40 hours a week. But people do. They hate their jobs and long for Friday afternoon.

After leaving, it took me six months to recover from the burnout. Being in a hypervigilant state for four months, I was exhausted. I was also client-shy and no longer wanted to pitch my work. I couldn’t face EVER being in that situation again. Thankfully, I have a few clients who leave me alone to do my job, never question what I do and respect my work. However, this horrible experience led me to digital marketing.

I walked the dogs for an hour this afternoon, pondering what my friend said. How about if we’re all stressed, anxious and exhausted because the reality that we accept as the norm is slowly destroying us? How can we ever return to a physical reality that makes us feel wholesome and alive?

Will Robots Pay Us Not To Work?

The truth is, I don’t think we can go back.

The exponential growth of artificial intelligence (AI) is unlikely to slow down, and “they” may eventually replace us in the workplace, or at least partly. What would our lives be like then? The experts suggest that AI would create trillions of dollars so humans would get a living wage and not have to work.

I hear you. Jan, that’s a freaking dream. Stop knocking it!

It’s not, though. Humans thrive when they have a purpose but turn inwards when there seems little point in life. I’ve seen this lack of structure cause havoc with teenagers from wealthy families. They don’t have a purpose. Mummy and Daddy pay for everything. The kids don’t have to struggle.

What’s the problem with that?

The struggle is what makes us grow. Overcoming obstacles is what makes us feel fulfilled and alive.

We strive to achieve. We enjoy competition and the connection it brings with others.

Back To Reality

The “thing” you think is “reality” is an artificial construction built with flimsy cardboard. This reality suits the government. They need the people to behave, be compliant and NOT rebel.

Society teaches us from an early age to sit at a desk and do as we’re told. That never sat well with me. I always felt like a cuckoo in the nest and questioned everything. In 1995, I left the corporate world and became self-employed. I have never worked more than 25 hours a week since.

Underneath the construction are sub-layers that keep society propped up. Retirement age keeps going up. In the UK, they are aiming for 71! WTF? As many people die in their late sixties, the government saves a fortune from not having to pay the deceased. They’ll waste it, of course.

When they raised women’s retirement age from sixty to sixty-six, the UK government made £200 billion. Where the **ck did that money go?

Sorry. I went off on a tangent, but it’s all relevant.

Here’s How To Reconnect

My message to you is, “Don’t be an ostrich“. You can pretend the world is perfectly OK as it is and reality serves us, but it does not. It slowly sucks the life out of you until your retire and die, wondering where the **ck your life went.

Society discourages entrepreneurs, even though they bring wealth into a country. We should all be entrepreneurs. There is no reason we cannot do it because we all have the capability. Still, we just don’t believe we have what it takes.

Why is that?

Come on, keep up.

Sit behind a desk when you’re five and stay there until you’re almost an adult. Learn to add up and pass exams and accrue ridiculous student debt. Learn **ck all about managing finances and leveraging compound interest. And let’s not talk about passive income because it doesn’t exist, right? Well, it does, so <<shrug>>

Never believe that you cannot change your life. You don’t need to get stuck in this dark hole of existence. Decide that you want something more, something better. Even if you don’t know what that is, hold the thought and watch for opportunities.

That’s what I did. That’s what I am doing. I found a direction. I’ve been scared to follow it because it is so much bigger than what I’m used to. However, thanks to my friend’s insight, I recognised my limiting thoughts and can now push through to the next stage.

5 habits to stop doing to get rich?  Yep. Some of my writing clients are millionaires and I noticed they don’t do the things I do, and maybe that’s why I’ve never been rich (Yet!).

Only recently did I realise how many things I had done that had held me back from becoming wealthy. I’ve had many opportunities but struggled to get past a certain point.

These five habits are what I have changed to improve my wealth building. They work, and you will soon see a shift in your finances.

Scarcity Mindset

If you believe there is never enough or you cannot be rich, you have a scarcity mindset. The world has an abundance of opportunities waiting for you to take them. If you really want to make more money, shift your mindset into taking action to increase your fortunes.

Don’t only think about working harder as an employee because that may bring you a short-term financial boost, but it won’t take you nearer to becoming wealthy. Start your own business, open an online shop, or get creative with your ideas.

I’ll be honest and say this was a tough habit to change. I became widowed in 2020, and managing my income has been hard work. I’ve always had enough money, but not beyond that. I write affirmations and am teaching myself to become aware when I get caught up in scarcity thinking.

Skimping On Growth

You never stop learning about money and mindset growth, because we’re constantly changing and adapting to our external environment. The more you expand your mind, the greater the chances of success. You don’t need to buy expensive courses costing thousands of dollars. Invest in yourself by reading books, watching video tutorials, learning from a mentor, or taking free or low-cost classes.

I got started with a Done-for-you business I have learned so much about how to do attraction marketing and build a business.

Trying To Do It All Yourself

I learned the hard way about the challenges of trying to make it alone. I’m a lone wolf and can find it challenging to work with others, but I need support, as we all do. You will get so far alone, and then you may lose motivation. Suddenly, you have lost the will to carry on with the same passion you had when you began.

Exchanging Time For Money

Exchanging time for money will never make you rich. I busted a gut from 2021 to 2023, writing for clients. I made an OK income, but I had no more energy or time to do more writing. Exchanging time for money caused significant burnout.

Aim to work as few hours as possible for the most money. Create wealth by building something that you can automate and will bring money to you even when you are not working. I promote the DFU Business, do affililate & Pinterest marketing and am working on creating products for myself.

The Garden Hose Theory

Do you jump from one task to another? I do. I have ADHD. I’m easily distracted or hyper-focused.

Most of us follow the garden hose approach to making money. We water as many plants as possible, hoping some grow big and strong. When accumulating wealth, it’s easy to confuse diversification with spraying in too many directions.

Start one thing and make it work. When that income source is ticking along, move to the next thing, but take your time. It’s essential not to put all your eggs in one basket, of course, but lacking focus on one thing at a time will delay your wealth building.

I hope that helps.

Disclaimer: There are affiliate links on this page. If you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission.

If you can master your money mindset, there is nothing stopping you from achieving the life of your dreams.

Have you got a subconscious financial ceiling? If so, are you aware of how it could hold you back from financial freedom? It can even cause self-sabotage when your income increases.

In November 2023, after a tricky year with client work, I finally understood what I wanted from my working life.

Mostly, I figured out what I didn’t want.

The Solution

I recently watched YouTube videos by Dr Benjamin Hardy regarding his book “10X is Easier than 2X.” The principle is that it’s easier to achieve massive goals than it is to master small incremental goals.

Hmmm, OK, let’s see how that works then.

I wrote down a huge financial goal for 6-12 months time. It was approximately ten times my average monthly income. Immediately, I felt uncomfortable. I started trying to work out how to protect that money, how much tax I would pay and other such logistics.

Seriously, I went into a total tailspin.

I began adding this financial goal to my journaling on my morning and evening affirmations. At first, the discomfort increased. My logical mind thought it was ridiculous, “How are you going to “earn” that sort of money when you can’t even find consistent work?” Yep, my logical mind is sceptical, and I was surprised by its negative attitude!

Then, a surprising thing happened.

My mind began cooperating.

You Can Increase Your Income Ceiling

Suddenly, the gigantic figure began to feel achievable, as if it wasn’t a lot of money, and I no longer felt the discomfort. I stopped thinking about “how” I could possibly make that much money (note I said “make” and not “earn“) and continued with my daily affirmations.

Then, in May 2024, an opportunity popped into my eyeline and immediately ticked all the boxes. On closer inspection, the skills I will learn from this DFU business will undoubtedly give me the potential to create financial freedom.

I’ve set up the business, watching the training and experiencing many ah-ha moments. The sense of calm and certainty has prevailed. It feels like there is no rush because I have the “knowing” it will happen now.

I tapped into the digital marketing space because by 2027, experts suggest it will generate $3 billion in sales.

The Money Mindset Exercise

You can either work with a like-minded buddy or alone. The objective is to test at what financial figure you become uncomfortable.

If Working With A Buddy

• Initially, set a 10X figure for the future, but don’t focus on it yet
• Have your friend say a figure, such as starting with $3,000 a month.
• Close your eyes and tune into your body
• Take your time
• How are you feeling? OK, or uncomfortable?
• Repeat: Your friend increases the monthly income figure by $1000 (or your chosen denomination)
• Notice at what point you start feeling a bit edgy. When you do, that’s the first figure to work on for the next few days or weeks until you get past the discomfort.
• Work with your friend as often as possible and write affirmations that include the bigger financial figure.
• The objective is to work up to the 10X figure and be 100% comfortable imagining having that much money.

If Working Alone

I’ve found writing the big financial goal more impactful. Looking at the number seems to trigger more of a response than thinking about it.

• Using the same method as working with a buddy, write a figure you are comfortable with, such as $3,000 a month.
• Find the spot where you start feeling uncomfortable.
• Write in your journal daily, using affirmations for the financial figure.
• You can go a bit bigger or go the whole hog. For instance, if $5,000 a month makes you uncomfortable, you could write affirmations for $10,000 a month.
• Alternatively, cut out the middle bits and go straight to the 10X figure, such as $25,000 a month and keep working to that amount.

I’ve provided alternative ways to work because we are all different. I prefer working to $25,000 a month from the get-go. My friend liked working incrementally. Whatever you choose doesn’t matter, so long as you stick with the process.

It took me about a month before I was 100% comfortable with the 10X figure. For you, it could be days, weeks or a few months. It depends on how often you do the exercise. I would recommend daily practice to smash through your financial ceiling fast.

We are often unaware that we have a financial ceiling because we trundle along in our comfort zone. Even if we struggle for money, it’s what we’re used to.

This income ceiling is why lottery winners eventually lose the lot. Their financial ceiling is so fixed that their subconscious continually works to reset the status quo.

I hope that helps. I find this subject fascinating, and I’m excited to see how it works for you in opening the flow to financial abundance.

You might enjoy the Mastering Your Money Mindset Guide, which is a digital workbook that teaches you how to start building lasting wealth.

Disclaimer: There are affiliate links on this page. If you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission.

To achieve manifestation success, we must step away from the stereotypes and norms that society tells us we must adhere to. Walk your own path. Be individual. Be unafraid to do things differently.

Pendulums cannot bear individuality. They rely on their adherents to stay in line, stick to the rules, and follow the common rules.

Most people follow the masses – a great way to get stuck in a societal pendulum.

Most people are afraid.

Don’t be afraid. Or do, but embrace the fear. Think of it as excitement. The brain cannot differentiate the physiological response.

When you first “step out”, all hell might break loose. People you love may get snarky about your individualism. They’re in the pendulum. They want to feel safe – they think they are safe there – and can’t do that if you rock the boat.

Once you make headway, the pendulums have a change of heart. They recognise a star in the making and want a piece of the action. People want to be near you. They want to know how you succeeded and hope they can catch a piece if they are near you.

Claim your privileges. You decide what they are.

Don’t let anyone tell you who you are or that you need to be perfect.

You do not.

You need only to be yourself.

That’s it.

Initiate your own game. Invite others to play. Don’t play their game. It’s not fun. It won’t get you what you want. Or it will, but it will come at a price.

Go for it.

Since late 2023, I’ve taken time out to review my future work. I left the crypto industry and realised I hadn’t been happy for a long time. The industry is flawed, a bit broken and has no heart.

I’ve always had an entrepreneurial flair, but I got too comfortable with regular work and stopped pursuing the things that would take me away from relying on client work.

Since then, my energies have been a bit scattered. The uncertainty of an irregular income, coupled with my ADHD tendencies, caused me to shoot in too many directions.

Benjamin Hardy Changed My Life

Then, I watched a YouTube video by Dr. Benjamin Hardy, a psychologist and best-selling author. One of his books, 10X is Easier than 2X, focuses on the concept that it is easier to achieve impossible goals than smaller ones.

My soul must have recognised the truth of the content because the hairs on my body stood to attention. I felt connected to “something” indefinable within me, yet there was a sense of knowing.

Most of the time, we operate based on our past experiences and habits. They have shaped the present “you.” However, if you have a big goal or dream, the past and present you is unlikely to get you to where you want to be. How can anything change if you do what you’ve always done what you always do?

For example, I’ve had regular client work for almost three years. My earnings were healthy, and I was comfortable. However, I’ve relied on my income from people paying me to write content for them. I’m a widow living in a rented cottage, and I must cover my expenses. Therefore, I immediately began looking for more clients when I was “let go” from the crypto companies this year.

My goal is to have financial freedom and a house of my own. But I’ve been saying that for decades, and nothing has changed.

How can that dream happen if I keep writing for clients? If I take on more work, I will suffer from burnout. If I raise my prices, there’s only so high I can go before the market resists. Therefore, the goal must be bigger than that.

Here’s the Kicker

Benjamin Hardy says that our present self must be directed by the future self. In other words, what would she tell you to do today if “future you” achieved the impossible goal?

Would she tell me to find more clients or get on and publish the courses and books I have planned? Would she advise against affiliate marketing and creating passive income?

No. The future “me” is a badass creative who loves her work and is not the person exchanging money for time to make a living. She is free of time for money constraints and helps others to find financial freedom, too.

I believe this information is life-changing when you fully absorb the power of the future self guiding your actions.

How to Own Your Future Self and Become Who You Want to Be

Change is inevitable, but you can shape it to your advantage. You can become the person you want to be by following these three steps:

Separate Your Past, Present, and Future Selves

You are not the same person you were yesterday and will not be the same person tomorrow. You have grown and changed over time, and you have the potential to grow and change even more.

Don’t let your current self define your future self. You have the power to choose who you want to be.

It sounds easy, but it isn’t. We are creatures of habit, so the survival brain resists even when we know change is good for us. Accept that the feelings of discomfort do not indicate danger. Indeed, feeling uncomfortable means you are closer to becoming the badass future YOU.

Imagine Your Desired Future Self

What are your goals and dreams? What kind of person do you want to be? How do you want to live your life? These are the questions to ask yourself to create a clear and specific vision of your desired future self.

Use techniques like visualisation, journaling, and affirmations to make your future self as vivid as possible in your mind.

Some of the questions I’ve asked myself so far, are: –

• What do I want?
• What do I not want?
• What car do I drive?
• What charities do I help?
• Who shares my future life?
• What does my home look like?
• What does my future daily life look like?
• How can I better connect with my future self?
• What actions today will take me closer to my goal?
• Who do I need to be today to reach my impossible goal?
• What connections must I build to support my future self?
• What does my future self look like? What is she wearing?
• How can I let go of the past so it doesn’t shape my future?

I journal each night before turning off the light. It’s an excellent way to condition the subconscious mind during sleeping hours. Each morning, I awake feeling more hopeful and clear about what to do next.

Create and Share Your Identity and New Story

Your identity is the story you tell yourself and others about who you are and who you are becoming. It influences your thoughts, feelings, and actions. To become your desired future self, create a positive and compelling story that explains how you got to the goal. What steps did you take? Were there any roadblocks, and how did you overcome them?

Share your story with people who support you and hold you accountable. Consider starting a mastermind group of like-minded souls.

This new identity story will drive your behaviour, shaping your personality as you move towards the impossible goal.

You can start living like your future self today. You can own your future self and create the change you want to see in yourself and the world.

I believe you have the power to become who you want to be.

Disclaimer: There are affiliate links on this page. If you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission.

Why lottery winners go broke?

Have you ever wondered why lottery winners who scoop millions of dollars in prize money go broke? Me too, until quite recently when I discovered that it would happen to me if I didn’t make some changes.

It’s all to do with your money mindset and your financial ceiling.

Eh, what? Financial ceiling? I don’t have one of those!

Excuse me, but you probably do. I say that with authority because I would have denied it, too, until I did the following exercise.

After reading the book 10X is Better than 2X by Benjamin Hardy, I set an income goal of ten times my average income from freelance work. Considering the feast and famine of freelancing, my average was £2,500 a month (yeah, I know. Pitiful, right?).

That made my financial target £25,000 a month.

No problem, I thought. Hah!

I wrote, “I have a consistent income of £25k a month” and sat back.

What was that feeling?

Yikes! I felt uncomfortable with that amount. Genuine discomfort.

My brain began questioning me:

• How the f**k do you think you’re going to do that?
• You’ll never be able to “earn” that much money
• Do you realise how much effort that will take?
• Be more realistic. Aim for £5k. You could probably do that if you make more effort.
• Give up!

The disbelief went on.

I knew that if I didn’t change my money mindset and raise that income ceiling to “no ceiling”, I would not EVER attain such dizzy heights of income. Or, if I did, I would eventually lose most of it.

So, thank you, Dr Benjamin Hardy, but I need to do a reframe.

I started day one by writing, “I consistently have an income of £3k a month.”

Did you notice I removed the word “earn.” That’s super important because if you attach earning potential to your financial goal, you will end up exchanging time for money, working crazy hours and suffering from burnout. Use words like “have” or “create” or any word that removes the correlation with “working”, especially for someone else.

Each day, I increased the sum by £1000. It started getting uncomfortable at around £12k a month.

I then added, “I am worthy of £12k a month and much more. I am in the flow of abundance, and the money is there for me if I believe it is so.”

I had more sticking points. It took time to get comfortable with generating £25k a month. That’s OK. You have probably had this money ceiling most of your life.

My parents weren’t well off and constantly argued about money. I grew up believing that: –

1. There is never enough money
2. I will have enough to get by.

The trouble with those deep-rooted beliefs is they held me back from stretching to creating more income. I didn’t take risks, but I procrastinated and talked myself out of opportunities (and believed I was right to do so).

Commit to doing this exercise daily or as often as you can. In time, you will believe wealth is easily attainable without selling your soul.

Let me know what you think. What is your money ceiling?